Archives For Insecurity

Ever since high school, I’ve had a rocky relationship with art. Every year or two, I’d find myself at an art museum, paying the entrance fee. Then, I’d speed through the exhibits, dodging clocks that melted into puddles and giant canvases covered in orange. I’d search for something safe, something familiar.

 

Finding a Rembrandt, I’d take refuge for a couple minutes—five if I was feeling artsy. Then, I’d sneak back to my car, hoping the docent at the exit wouldn’t recognize me. 

Photo 1423742774270 6884aac775faPhoto courtesy of Eric Terrade via unsplash.com 

A couple months ago, I found myself in a similar situation–this time sipping on green tea and insecurity in a friend’s apartment. I’d been riveted by a photo of Kylee’s latest painting, The Pure Look of the Bishop, and had asked (on impulse) to see it in person.


Now that the three of us, The Bishop included, were face to face, I wasn’t sure what to say:

“So…what’s the story behind it?” I ask. The Bishop’s blue and green eyes lock in on me from his chair against the wall Continue Reading…

I weaved in an out of traffic listening to my friend. Every Tuesday we hit a local coffee shop and try to make a dent in our writing aspirations. I changed lanes and focused back on what she was saying. During the last week she had run into two strangers that needed help—a homeless lady who she took to lunch and a young woman who was locked out of her car.

 

“I usually don’t interact with strangers so much,” my friend said, “but I really felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to help them.” 

 

I listened to my friend with mixed emotions. I knew I should be glad that God was working through her, but insecurity cluttered my heart. Her success felt like my failure.

 Rsz 1photo 1421809313281 48f03fa45e9f

Photo courtesy of Luke Pamer via unsplash.com

 

Unlike my friend, I am not an extrovert. I dislike socially awkward situations and talking to strangers. Hearing how Jesus worked through my friend made me feel like a failure. After all, when was the last time I took a homeless woman to lunch? Continue Reading…