I weaved in an out of traffic listening to my friend. Every Tuesday we hit a local coffee shop and try to make a dent in our writing aspirations. I changed lanes and focused back on what she was saying. During the last week she had run into two strangers that needed help—a homeless lady who she took to lunch and a young woman who was locked out of her car.
“I usually don’t interact with strangers so much,” my friend said, “but I really felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to help them.”
I listened to my friend with mixed emotions. I knew I should be glad that God was working through her, but insecurity cluttered my heart. Her success felt like my failure.
Photo courtesy of Luke Pamer via unsplash.com
Unlike my friend, I am not an extrovert. I dislike socially awkward situations and talking to strangers. Hearing how Jesus worked through my friend made me feel like a failure. After all, when was the last time I took a homeless woman to lunch?
Being a perfectionist, I frequently slip into comparing myself to other people. When I do, I find without fail that they are more than me. More extroverted. More bold. More eloquent. More sacrificial. More talented. More compassionate. And, I start to wonder: Can God use me, too?
I know that he want to use me, but what if my imperfections get in the way?
Sometimes, I need to remember the story of Sampson. If anyone could mess themselves up too much for God to use, it’d be him. Sampson plunged himself into lying, murder, and arson–not to mention his frequent visits to a prostitute.
God still used him.
Sampson’s story reminds me that God works through imperfect people. If the Holy Spirit can use Sampson—with his flagrant disregard for God—he can handle my weaknesses and sin. He may not use me in the same way he’s using you, but that’s the beauty of it. So, let’s stop worrying about our spiritual insecurities and start trusting the God of Sampson.