How Should We Love Broken People–with Grace or Truth?

smgianotti@me.com  —  August 4, 2015

I tear the envelope open and unfold the jury summons. Grumble. The secretary double books my 11:00 appointment. Complain. I feel lonely on a Friday night. Grumble. Complain. Grumble.

 

Hi, my name is Shannon, and I’m a complainer. 

 

Nearly ten years ago, I signed myself into rehab with the Holy Spirit. Since then, I’ve made good progress, but still have frequent relapses. No, let me call it straight. I still sin. I rob God of worship when I complain and refuse to acknowledge his goodness. 

 

2241989981 bb800c8b2a bPhoto courtesy of bored-now via flickr.com

 

I find it strange that hardly anyone comments on my complaining, let alone reminds me that it’s a sin. Well, except my mom, and only rarely. Usually, my friends and family (mom included) listen and empathize.


Maybe they’ve forgotten that complaining is a sin. Or, maybe they’ve chosen to extend grace and believe that God works in broken people, too

 

Truth is, brokenness runs straight through all of our hearts. Maybe, after a frustrating day at work you’re tempted to deny God’s goodness by complaining. Or, maybe you fight the urge to overeat, look at porn, or log onto eHarmony as a woman interested in women. 

 

We’re all broken. We’ve lost touch with the wholeness God offers, and what we need now isn’t a list of do’s and don’ts. We need to catch a vision for life with God in all its beauty. 

 

If that’s the case, how do we handle people’s brokenness? Do we coddle them with grace or grab the scalpel of truth? 


It seems that first century Christians had the same question. “Let your speech always be gracious,” Paul advised them, “seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” (Colossians 4:6). 

 

Always gracious. Seasoned with salt. 

 

Every chef knows—even amateurs like me—that salting is an art. You can’t skip the salt, but you also can’t dump it in. Some foods require more and others less. One approach doesn’t fit all. 

 

Only the Holy Spirit knows what our client, or that guy at the gym, needs to move toward God. Maybe, it’s a dose of unconditional love. Or maybe, it’s a reminder that God determines what is good and beautiful, not us.

 

Always gracious. Seasoned with salt. 

 

In other words, when we ask, “How do we point broken people toward Jesus?” Paul offers us a kaleidoscope of grace and truth. Both need to be present, but their configuration might change with each conversation.

 

Most of us have a favorite when it comes to grace and truth. We slip into one, and tend to neglect the other. But, the barista at Starbucks and our Facebook friends need both. 

 

Only the Holy Spirit knows exactly what mix of grace and truth the people around us need to catch a vision of God’s beauty and wholeness. So, instead of assuming we know what they need next, let’s ask the Holy Spirit to turn the kaleidoscope for us.

 

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9 responses to How Should We Love Broken People–with Grace or Truth?

  1. Thanks, Shannon. I needed this today! Have you heard the song “Flawless” by MercyMe. I need to remember that not only does God see me as flawless but others too esp family members I struggle with–grace to you today! ?

  2. As usual I loved it. Especially loved this sentence:” But, what do we do with people’s brokenness? Do we coddle them with grace, or grab the scalpel of truth?” It makes me think more when approaching people. Truthfully it is something the Lord has worked on with me in dealing with people. I’m now always asking myself….What does this person need right now, Lord lead me…..

  3. Just posted a comment on your blog and it came up Anonymous. I guess I’m still an amateur in technology. Anyway, I loved it. The Lord is helping me learn how to think before I advise and ask…What does this person need right now…

  4. Thanks, Shannon. I am needing the Holy Spirit to turn the kaleidoscope for me right now. A timely and very relevant post.

  5. Thanks Shannon for posting this. I am chewing on your article.

  6. At the risk of being somewhat philosophical at this time of the morning, especially since I haven’t had my first cup of coffee, but here goes. Your truth may not be the same as someone else’s. Grace and dignity always work!